Doing what someone else wants us to do is slave morality, and a path to disease and disintegration of the spirit and body.
Listen when someone is speaking, not to the words, but to what is talking – it is often pride, malice, or ignorance. For example, when someone tells us that we are selfish, it is often because we are not doing what they want us to do.
After my girls left home to live out their dreams, I felt it was my duty to live out my dreams.
At one point, I remember thinking: Hey, who's going to live out my dreams when I die? But then I realized the answer: No one. It hit me like a slap across the face. Wake up! You had better start living your dreams, because you never know how long you have. What are you waiting for?
As I delved into starting my own business and made joy a priority in both my personal and professional life, it pissed some people off. They accused me of being selfish. And it hurt. A lot.
Recently, talking to a friend I told her... "I don't want to be hurt anymore when people call me selfish."
"Why would you be hurt?" he asked. "You should say thank you."
What???
He went on. "Let's break down the word. Self. Ish. Ish means 'more of,' so being selfish is being more of yourself. Don't you want to be more of yourself?"
"Well, yes."
"Now let's look at selfless. Less means less of yourself. Do you want to be less of yourself?"
"Well, no. No, I don't."
"So, really you should be thanking people for calling you selfish."
I smiled. He was right. The next time someone calls you selfish, say "thank you" and remember these three things:
1. You are here to live out your dreams. You can take being called selfish as proof you are on the right path.
2. You can only effectively help others when your own needs are met first. When you are attending to your own needs, desires and goals in life, it's easier to help others on their own path (this is why airlines insist that you put on your own oxygen mask in the plane first, before assisting others).
3. You will experience greater fulfillment and joy. Because you are living life on your terms, following your dreams and doing what you love, you are going to feel more fulfilled. And chances are you'll feel a lot less anger and jealously toward others, as well as a whole lot more joy.